Thursday, December 15, 2011

More help for the story I'm writing?

Again I'm confused with the first sentence, it switches from third to first person. I also think your character sounds like a Mary-sue. Like you say I'm okay looking and they think I'm a genius and I'm pretty good at fashion, no she needs a flaw. Don't make her sound magic, I know it sounds fun, but horrible to read.

0 comments:

Post a Comment